11/SEP/2021

Hello, friend...

This is my blog. I know exactly what I want to talk about on here, but I don't know where to begin. I really am starting this on a whim, so I hope I don't completely abandon it or ruin it on purpose halfway, which I tend to do. I often feel the urge to impulsively destroy something I've worked on, if I feel even slightly that it's an irrelevant project/task (even if it's actually very important). Is that a sign of something? I don't know. I'll search it up right now, actually.

Anyway, I'll introduce myself...Hi!!!!

The name I'm using right now is Charlie, but it would be funny if I went by 'Shark' here instead. Though if you tell people about my blog (for whatever reason), don't actually tell them my name is Shark though. That would embarrass me. So think of it as like...a stage name. Nice to meet you.

I've been looking for a place where I can share my written thoughts with no strings attached, so I'm making a home right here on this site. I have no experience with HTML and CSS, but it feels fairly similar to Python in Ren'Py, which I'm currently trying to make a visual novel on. It's for a personal project I'm doing at school...I'm supposed to be finished with it, actually...but here I am trying out a whole 'nother coding language ^_^ I'm crazy stupid!!!!!! I'm taking said visual novel to the grave, by the way. It sucks, so far. Well, I'm sure loads of people would like it a lot, actually. I just hold myself to a higher standard. It might be amazing, as far as you know...I certainly don't think it is.

I am from South Korea, I am 18 years of age as I write this, and I'm like a girl but a boy. I draw, and my drawings look like a mixture of 2000s Western cartoons and manga from the 90s. I hate what I make sometimes, but that's the big problem with liking art, isn't it? I'll probably share some of my art here, someday. I have an art account on Instagram, too, so see if you can find it somehow. The hunt is on.

I was born on the 29th of November. I'm a Sagittarius (if that means anything to you). My personality type is INTP (if that means anything to you). My hair is dyed, but I won't tell you which color. My nails are short(ish) (edit: no, wwait, they're actually getting pretty long). My ears are pierced (left ear- a snug, a single lobe. right ear- double helix, conch, triple lobe). I am bisexual. My blood type is AB, which means I can receive everyone's blood. I don't know if it's AB+ or AB-, though... Jesus was an AB too, did you know that? I didn't- I only found out two minutes ago.

I am depressed, sometimes suicidal, and always self-destructive. I suspect I have narcissistic personality disorder, antisocial personality disorder, depersonalization-derealization disorder, and show straits of obsessive-compulsive disorder and attention-deficit disorder, but don't want to get checked as I can't afford to. I am just your average seven-in-ten mentally ill student, and it pisses me off!

On this blog I'll talk about my life, my days, my interests (films [both animated and live-action], books, music, art, games, fish, One Piece, etc.), my pretentious thoughts on God and nature, school, the people I know, and whatever else. I might even share some of my old poetry. If you think it's shitty, please let me know (telepathically), so you can point and laugh at me as I stand motionless, expression unreadable. I'll let you do it, promise.

In about thirty minutes I'll have to get off my laptop and get ready for a dinner with three friends. One of them is treating, and it'll be an insanely expensive dinner. Well, I guess it's not much of a dinner if we're only having light snacks and cocktails...fancy dinner, nonetheless. I'll be looking my best, I hope. We plan to get very drunk afterwards, when we leave the bar for someplace cheaper. I was planning to get black-out trashed, but now I think that's not so good an idea. What do you think? Do you think I'll be pleasantly buzzed on the train home at 1 a.m., or hurling my guts out in some alley?

I feel as though I'm spending my time writing a bit too liberally, so I'll leave you with this. It's a drawing from yesterday.

I will see you when I'm sober again. I really hope I don't throw up tonight. Goodbye!

- Shark